Traffic Jam

This post is not about the latka jhatakas of Govinda (aka chi chi : with his face showing the expression as if he has just eaten

crocodile eggs in the breakfast and that those little crocos have started coming out in his stomach trying to dance on the same tune) and

Samantha Fox dance number with the same title. The material that you are going to read is very much real like you and me and have all the

resemblance to people living and dead. As always, reading has to be at the risk of your room mate as by the time you would be able

co-relate this with your self, it would be too late and you may end up beating your roomie.
My office is about 37 Km from my place (which is very far by NDRDS - New delhi road driving standards) and if after reaching either side

of destinations, you are still able to calculate that 2+2=4, then you should be nominated for Nana Patekar award for mental sanity.

Driving on Delhi roads is nothing less than going for safari. People are manoevering there vehicles(that include

bicycle,bike,scooter,auto-rickshaw, car,tempo and Buses) to spots (between two vehicles)that they find are not occupied in a fashion

similar as people trying to spot a lion in safari in Gir forests and shoot it with camera. As soon as you find one, you have to reach

there before it vanishes. You will find amazing amount on adrenaline in people as soon as they hit the road. It is like shumacher ki

aatma taking over the control and zippppp they go.

Anyways,the story is , I started from my place at around 9:30 AM to go to office. I had planned to pool it with another colleague of mine

and he told he would be driving in his car. But that was the only good news that came to us for next 5 hours as we were stuck in traffic

jam . 4 hours to reach dhaula kuan from my place and 1 hour to reach office from dhaula kuan. Man it is was crazy. Vehicles all around

you, people coming out of there cars to check how long is the jam, cell phone network getting choked , no communication with the rest of

the world. It felt as if the life has come to a standstill for that time. I had watched Die Hard 4.0 just a day back and I felt for a

second that we are under attack from some hacker placed in underground bunkre in pakistan. But my intelligence soon regained conciousness

and I realised that I am still in India. The only good thing that happened rather didnt happened was that it didnt rained otherwise

people who were on two wheelers would have got dreanched while stuck in traffic jam. But Imagine your self being stuck in jam . What

would you do? How will you pass your time in the jam? How can you make your stay in traffic jam interesting? Here are a few tips:

There are so many things that you can do while stuck in traffic jam

1. Call up your boss and tell you would be late(I love this one.)
2. Listen to Radio(I personally dont like doing this in jam)
3. Look around and try to locate a pretty face
4. Try make a conversation with the person sitting in the car right next to you. If he gets familiar , you can play antakshari with

him/her.
5. Read official material that you would have otherwise read in office
6. Call some long forgotten friends and talk to them
7. Lock your car and take a walk in the Jam. Trust me this one of the most relaxing things you can do when stuck.
8. Blow your car horn non-stop until people around you start giving you the "pagal ho gaya hain kya?" looks. The advantage of this would

be once the jam is over and the moment traffic starts moving, people will try to let you go lest you start blowing your horn again.
9. Take out a camera(if you have ) and start clicking pictures. Pictures of trees, birds,flowers etc. What there is nothing like that,

then stat clicking people getting pissed off in there cars, click people making all kinds of faces . This sure would be one fun filled

activity.
10. Plan about your next date and what should you be wearing
11. If you are a over friendly type, try gather 5-8 people and start playing hide and seek. You can hide behind the cars which are upto 3

vehicles away. Beyond that, you are not permitted to proceed.
12. You are getting late for your gym session. No problemo, take out jack and lever from your car and replace one of the tyres with the

stepney. If you are the direct decendant of He-man, this would hardly be any workout for you. In that case, you can repeat this for all

the tyres in your car . Still not tired, you can continue with other cars standing.
13. If you are a Market researcher by profession, this would be the right time to get your survey done . Dont worry about the project,

the project detail can be known later. As of now, don't miss this chance and start interviewing people.
14. If you find that the person behind you is feeling sleepy in a jam(which is strictly against the laws of Jam), start your ignition , rotte your steering completely towards right,try to move frwd. Now rotate the steering completely towards left, put the reverse gear and move a little backwards. Your action will produce enough anxiety in the person that he will no longer be feeling sleepy.
15. If there is a good looking guy/girl driving behind your car and you want to utilise this time, open the bonnet of your car, check the engine,wave your head in disappointment, come and search for something in your car, go to the personality in focus and ask for a bottle of water to be put in carbeurator. From there on, you have to be on your own as I am not the love guru.

There are a lot of other things you can do but I am restricting myself to the above 15 items.

PS: Please do remember that when in Jam, do pull off your engine and it is only adding pressure to the environment and economy of your country