Monday, December 12, 2016
Sunday, December 04, 2016
My Trauma and its rational
Sadness... somehow somewhere someone would have always experienced this feeling. Parting ways with your loved ones, experiencing your nature's fury. Or for less fortunate ones .. watching your own wedding video for Nth time where N > 253. Add to this sadness, Misery and helplessness and you get TRAUMA. To give you an example: You might be sitting alone in a small dark room may make you feel sad. The point that in the next room is President Elect Donald trump waiting eagerly to meet this person might make him feel miserable and helpless. TRAUMA!!!
For me the sky breaks, hairs fall down, water flows from all pores when I hear the word SHOPPING!!!
Fellow TOastMasters, Most welcome Guests. For people who know me and my family, this is an innocent and first attempt at humour by me. For every one else, this is a true story.
Picture this.
For me the sky breaks, hairs fall down, water flows from all pores when I hear the word SHOPPING!!!
Fellow TOastMasters, Most welcome Guests. For people who know me and my family, this is an innocent and first attempt at humour by me. For every one else, this is a true story.
Picture this.
A Sunny blue sky with clouds scattered frequently, birds chanting the morning rhymes, trees throwing their leaves and branches in all directions, wind was gaining strength as if it has just pumped a lot of iron, the last of the after partiers had safely reached their beds. The city was still silent and the smell of coffee was getting more and more frequent. In short it was 11 Oçlock on sunday morning in Amsterdam. And I was about to embark on an ordeal which lasted 8 hours in total with two meal breaks of 30 minutes. I had to brave many many people who wanted to sell jeans, shirts, shoes, trousers, skirts, cosmetics, accessories and there after more jeans , more clothes, more cosmetics, more shoes. I survived the battle which was going on way after it got dark. But it got me introspect why I hated Shopping. For as long as I remembered, I always hated shopping. Irrespective of the nature of activity. I always felt miserable and sad. I have identified three reasons which I am sure made me feel traumatized when it comes to shopping.
1. Imagine there is a new wine shop in your neighbourhood. You go and buy a fairly expensive bottle of wine. The salesman tells you this is an offer and you are really lucky. You come home happy. In the evening you try to show off a bit your bargain to a friend of yours. Doesnt each of us have atleast one friend who always know how to buy something cheaper than you?? Did you checked online? You could have bought it cheaper from Gall n Gall. Now I am sad and to get rid of my sadness, I drink wine. But as soon as I take a sip, it reminds me of my bad purchase. This is called COGNITIVE DISONANCE in psychology.: The two mutually conflicting thoughts in your head and you are not sure which one you should accept.
2. PAIN POINTS: I hate spending money over and over. No I am not Dutch. I dont mind paying money at once but the act of paying over and over does not help me. Interestingly enough, there is a study which was done in this aspect. People enjoy or hate doing certain things .. for example in this case spending money. Now the act of spending 100 USD 10 times will give me more pain than spending 1000 USD. The pain or pleasure associated with actions does not follow the arithmetic progressional path. To give you an example, imagine during next few renewal, you pay Lee the fees in 5 euro bills.
1. Imagine there is a new wine shop in your neighbourhood. You go and buy a fairly expensive bottle of wine. The salesman tells you this is an offer and you are really lucky. You come home happy. In the evening you try to show off a bit your bargain to a friend of yours. Doesnt each of us have atleast one friend who always know how to buy something cheaper than you?? Did you checked online? You could have bought it cheaper from Gall n Gall. Now I am sad and to get rid of my sadness, I drink wine. But as soon as I take a sip, it reminds me of my bad purchase. This is called COGNITIVE DISONANCE in psychology.: The two mutually conflicting thoughts in your head and you are not sure which one you should accept.
2. PAIN POINTS: I hate spending money over and over. No I am not Dutch. I dont mind paying money at once but the act of paying over and over does not help me. Interestingly enough, there is a study which was done in this aspect. People enjoy or hate doing certain things .. for example in this case spending money. Now the act of spending 100 USD 10 times will give me more pain than spending 1000 USD. The pain or pleasure associated with actions does not follow the arithmetic progressional path. To give you an example, imagine during next few renewal, you pay Lee the fees in 5 euro bills.
3. Impulsive shopping: Most of men like to plan things. They strategise, optimise, refine before they execute. This period could be anything from 1 week to 6 weeks. For me the shopping was planning took 6 weeks. Everything was meticulously organised. Where we will start from, what we buy from, what we will avoid and where we will eat. Now after entering the market, you are exposed to so many new shops, new offers and new trends. The whole plan goes down the drain. Now two things can happen. Either paralysis due to analysis of excess data. Or You grab that as an opportunity and start buying. But in both the cases, you will feel sad. Either becasue you purchased too much or not at all. For example. A puppy who enters a warehouse of dog food. He will overeat or get confused and do not eat at all.
Fellow TMs, honoured guests, This is why I feel I get traumatized. My TM friends, this was my first attempt at humour. My Guests, Do not come under pressure of "Let us go shopping"
Cashew
This story is about a MALE black labrador, a gentle soul with habits
of high society man: eating & sleeping. And his name…. (pause)CASHEW.
(SPEAK IN A QUESTIONING TONE)"That is a rather unsual name for a dog:
Cashew?”. When we got him, we thought of various popular movie
characters like pluto, milo and even Earnest. We contemplated naming
him google looking at his search ability. But nothing fit his charming
personality.
One day I heard some noise from the kitchen and rushed in, only to
find him feasting greedily on scattered food. I learned two things:
1. Never trust a dog with your food
2. Cashew was NUTS about cashewnuts, as he only ate those and left
the rest for me (to clean)
We decided to call him CASHEW and got ourselves free from the moral obligation.
Cashew is fond of food and footwear (may not always be in this order).
When he was a pup, he would always run away, with my mother's
slippers, Somehow he always loved female shoes more than men´s.
Another particular Cashew-esque thing was his philosophy ... when in
doubt …. (pause) Lick. He has drenched so many people(family,
friends, pizza delivery boy) with his slobbering. Even the postman
wore a raincoat when he had to deliver a letter to us in warm summer
day.
Everytime I came back from office, he would know before anyone else
and would be waiting at the door. Our walks were the times when we
boys had some fun together. We would walk, talk, run, chase squirrels
and play FETCH. No matter where he will be, when I said FETCH, he
would come dashing and try to find anything which was moving and bring
it to me. There is a study on internet which says if a man is with a
dog, he has 3 times more chance of getting a girl's phone number. Do
Not trust this study. It is a LIE. But I did had my moments of glory
when some girl would come and talk to me mostly about cashew.He had
some cuteness powers which attracted girls better than I could. I used
to call him George Clooney and I was hi wingman. There was onething
Cashew did not like…. He was scared of THE VET. Whenever we went to
vet's clinic, he would freeze. He will be the most un-cooperative dog
ever. HE will use his 4 paws and the thick black tail like breaks
..kHEEEHHHHH and you can actually see the skid marks that he left
behind when I had to push him into the clinic.
I moved to Amsterdam in the meantime. Dec'2010. I was in India for a
family wedding. And like Indian weddings, there was music, food &
dance. On the 12th Dec2010, I stepped out to run some errands when I
got a call "Cashew is not well. Come back soon". I hurried back home
immediately. I saw Cashew lying on the floor. He lifted his head to
see me and moved his tail when he recognised me. I ran towards him,
sat on the floor and placed his head on my lap and slowly caressed him
with my hand. His eyes were RED. His breathing was slow and irregular.
His nose was dry. Once in a while he moved his tail. Our eyes met.
(TALKING TO CASHEW)"We are going to VET. You will be fine." But I felt
something was wrong. There was no breathing anymore. The sparkle in
eyes got replaced with a hollow. I shouted CASHEW CASHEW. No response.
I felt as if he was waiting for me to arrive before he bid adieu.
Cashew was NO MORE. (LONG PAUSE)
I lost him to the blood infection that he contracted some time back
but I have him in the blood that flows in my brain and heart.
In the days that followed, I could not think of anyone but cashew and
the time we spent together.
It is always sad to see someone die let alone your loved one. But from
the grief dawns the gratitude towards them. For me it was the
gratitude towards Cashew for being part of my life, for loving me and
his departure reminding me that my time on earth is also not
unlimited.My Friends, His death taught me a lesson about life. I
learned that 3Ls :
LOVE : Unconditional and selfless. Cashew always met with love and
enthusiasm even though he knew it might not be reciprocated.
LEARN : Always be prepared to learn something new even if it is from
your mistake. Like cashew learned to differentiate between strawberry
flavoured shampoo and strawberries jam after being admitted to
hospital for 2 days.
LEISURE : Make most out of the what you have as that will be the
memories you will leave behind when you go. I can still see him trying
to catch a bouncing ball after I called FETCH.
3Ls; Love, learn and leisure
The gap cashew left was unfanthamable. But the simplest way to fill a
hole is to sow a new seed(as long as it is not from Monsanto). Enters
Junior.. a black brown rottweiler pup. He is no saint, he is not
gentle and he is not george clooney. Infact he is more like Jim Carey
from the movie THE MASK. But now we love learn and leisure together.
of high society man: eating & sleeping. And his name…. (pause)CASHEW.
(SPEAK IN A QUESTIONING TONE)"That is a rather unsual name for a dog:
Cashew?”. When we got him, we thought of various popular movie
characters like pluto, milo and even Earnest. We contemplated naming
him google looking at his search ability. But nothing fit his charming
personality.
One day I heard some noise from the kitchen and rushed in, only to
find him feasting greedily on scattered food. I learned two things:
1. Never trust a dog with your food
2. Cashew was NUTS about cashewnuts, as he only ate those and left
the rest for me (to clean)
We decided to call him CASHEW and got ourselves free from the moral obligation.
Cashew is fond of food and footwear (may not always be in this order).
When he was a pup, he would always run away, with my mother's
slippers, Somehow he always loved female shoes more than men´s.
Another particular Cashew-esque thing was his philosophy ... when in
doubt …. (pause) Lick. He has drenched so many people(family,
friends, pizza delivery boy) with his slobbering. Even the postman
wore a raincoat when he had to deliver a letter to us in warm summer
day.
Everytime I came back from office, he would know before anyone else
and would be waiting at the door. Our walks were the times when we
boys had some fun together. We would walk, talk, run, chase squirrels
and play FETCH. No matter where he will be, when I said FETCH, he
would come dashing and try to find anything which was moving and bring
it to me. There is a study on internet which says if a man is with a
dog, he has 3 times more chance of getting a girl's phone number. Do
Not trust this study. It is a LIE. But I did had my moments of glory
when some girl would come and talk to me mostly about cashew.He had
some cuteness powers which attracted girls better than I could. I used
to call him George Clooney and I was hi wingman. There was onething
Cashew did not like…. He was scared of THE VET. Whenever we went to
vet's clinic, he would freeze. He will be the most un-cooperative dog
ever. HE will use his 4 paws and the thick black tail like breaks
..kHEEEHHHHH and you can actually see the skid marks that he left
behind when I had to push him into the clinic.
I moved to Amsterdam in the meantime. Dec'2010. I was in India for a
family wedding. And like Indian weddings, there was music, food &
dance. On the 12th Dec2010, I stepped out to run some errands when I
got a call "Cashew is not well. Come back soon". I hurried back home
immediately. I saw Cashew lying on the floor. He lifted his head to
see me and moved his tail when he recognised me. I ran towards him,
sat on the floor and placed his head on my lap and slowly caressed him
with my hand. His eyes were RED. His breathing was slow and irregular.
His nose was dry. Once in a while he moved his tail. Our eyes met.
(TALKING TO CASHEW)"We are going to VET. You will be fine." But I felt
something was wrong. There was no breathing anymore. The sparkle in
eyes got replaced with a hollow. I shouted CASHEW CASHEW. No response.
I felt as if he was waiting for me to arrive before he bid adieu.
Cashew was NO MORE. (LONG PAUSE)
I lost him to the blood infection that he contracted some time back
but I have him in the blood that flows in my brain and heart.
In the days that followed, I could not think of anyone but cashew and
the time we spent together.
It is always sad to see someone die let alone your loved one. But from
the grief dawns the gratitude towards them. For me it was the
gratitude towards Cashew for being part of my life, for loving me and
his departure reminding me that my time on earth is also not
unlimited.My Friends, His death taught me a lesson about life. I
learned that 3Ls :
LOVE : Unconditional and selfless. Cashew always met with love and
enthusiasm even though he knew it might not be reciprocated.
LEARN : Always be prepared to learn something new even if it is from
your mistake. Like cashew learned to differentiate between strawberry
flavoured shampoo and strawberries jam after being admitted to
hospital for 2 days.
LEISURE : Make most out of the what you have as that will be the
memories you will leave behind when you go. I can still see him trying
to catch a bouncing ball after I called FETCH.
3Ls; Love, learn and leisure
The gap cashew left was unfanthamable. But the simplest way to fill a
hole is to sow a new seed(as long as it is not from Monsanto). Enters
Junior.. a black brown rottweiler pup. He is no saint, he is not
gentle and he is not george clooney. Infact he is more like Jim Carey
from the movie THE MASK. But now we love learn and leisure together.
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